How Does Talking About Sexual Health Work?
It’s just like regular therapy; you sit on a couch, I sit across from you and we talk. There is no touching, no active demonstrations, and no sexually explicit materials. I may pull out a diagram from time to time, or point you in the direction of a book that might contain explicit educational material, but that’s about it.
What Sexual Health Questions Will You Ask?
When I work with you around issues of sexual health, I focus on helping you achieve the goals that you identify for yourself or your relationship. These goals and the work that we do can be about more than dysfunction. Sexuality encompasses so much more than just the body, so we will be exploring multiple dimensions of your life as we work together. You can expect to talk with me about how you’re feeling about things, the different messages you learned about sex and sexuality while growing up, what’s going on with your body physically, and about the relationships in your life.
For many people, coming in to talk about sex can leave them feeling a bit apprehensive. I am committed to providing a sex-positive, judgement-free, expansive place in which to explore the issues that are on your mind. If you think we would be a good fit for this life-changing work, please do not hesitate to call.
Below are some of the most common sexual health challenges that I work with.
Painful Sex/Chronic Illness
Do you experience feeling broken, damaged, or less of a man/woman because of pain during sex? Is is difficult to associate sex or touch with pleasure? Do you avoid physical or emotional contact with your partner for fear it might lead to sex?
1 in 4 women will experience chronic vulvar pain at some point in their lives, and up to 2 million men meet criteria for persistent pelvic pain. I work with clients to help them associate sex with pleasure instead of pain, and do so using a biopsychosocial model. Painful sex is a problem that has multiple dimensions, and therefore I believe in treating it from multiple angles. When we work together my focus is on the relationship and emotional component, but I also work closely with you to ensure you have other professionals in your corner. I often find that collaborating with a client’s doctor and physical therapist tends to be the most effective form of treatment. If you do not already have these professionals supporting you, we can work together to find a team that fits.
Here are a few resources that might be helpful:
Books
Pelvic Pain Explained by Stephanie A. Prendergast & Elizabeth H. Rummer
Explain Pain by David Butler
Websites
This YouTube video is a quick primer on how to make sense of pain.
Intimacy & Sexuality
If you feel like you and your partner are in a sexual rut or find yourselves struggling to connect on a sexual level, I can help. Working together we can identify the patterns that keep you from a fulfilling and healthy sex life.
A lot of what we see and hear about sex these days is highly goal-oriented and awash in myth. When we work together, your goals for therapy are our focus, but I also highly encourage anyone interested in improving their sex life to explore the what’s, why’s, and how’s of their sexual scripts.
Questions like “Do I feel like a failure if I don’t have an orgasm during sex?”, “Do I judge myself or my partner if we don’t have ‘real sex’?”, and “Is my sex life orgasm-oriented or pleasure-oriented?” are great ways to start reflecting on how your sexual scripts impact your sex life.
If you are ready to start the work of improving your sexual well-being and think we would be a good fit, please call to schedule an appointment.
Books
Rekindling Desire by Berry & Emily McCarthy
Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski
